True story: A lady once chased me out of the bus to tell me what I should do to treat my acne scarsđź«
What’s been your experience with unsolicited acne advice?
In this post, I’m going to share with you the BEST way to handle and respond to unsolicited advice.
- “Have you tried cutting out sugar and dairy?”
- “You should try washing your pillow case every day.”
- “Try this acne cream I found out about on TikTok.”
- “You really shouldn’t be wearing makeup when you have acne.”
- “This magical device is going to clear your acne. You should try it.”
Do you feel upset & annoyed when you hear these things? How do you typically respond to them?
Here are two options for when you receive unsolicited acne advice from people:
Option 1: Take it to heart and be offended
Option 2: Take what serves you and leave what doesn’t
I know you probably want to say something like…
- “Ugh, please just shut up.”
- “Wow this is so unhelpful. Can you not?”
- “You must be kidding me. You have no idea what you’re even talking about.”
- “I’ve already tried that okay!? Just leave me alone.”
- “Literally nobody asked you for your opinion. Bye.”
But my recommendation is that you keep it short & sweet and say this instead:
- “Cool, thanks.”
- “Thanks, good to know.”
- “Yes I have/No I haven’t tried that. Thanks.”
Why?
This is the best approach because…
The more boring & neutral the situation = the better.
Don’t add anymore meaning & story to the situation than there needs to be. You don’t have to tell yourself “They’re only trying to help,” but you also don’t have to tell yourself “They’re so insensitive & rude” either. All of these stories are completely optional. The added meaning & stories only perpetuate more negative feelings. So take the advice for what it is at face value and just leave it at that. They are just words coming out of someone’s mouth. The end. See how boring that was?
It’s not your responsibility to teach them.
Now if it’s a family member or close friend, this might be different. But at the end of the day, it’s not your job/responsibility to teach people how they should/shouldn’t behave. What they should/shouldn’t say. How they should/shouldn’t act. We only have a limited amount of time & energy in a given day. You can redirect and invest that time & energy into taking care of your own emotional health & well-being rather than trying to change/correct other people. Because…
People are going to continue to be people.
And they’re going to keep doing what they want to do, period. As annoying & frustrating as this can be, it’s the truth. It’s not easy to change other people. It’s one thing to make a request and try to communicate our boundaries & expectations, but it’s another thing for them to follow through on them. Think about how hard it is for us to even change ourselves? Don’t expect other people to change so that you can feel better.
Next time somebody tries to tell you how you should “fix” your skin, remember this:
Unsolicited acne advice can be annoying, but it doesn’t have to be.
Because YOU get to decide how to respond and how much energy & attention you want to give it.
PS, I still use the product that the lady from the bus told me about ;)
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Lydia Han (@acnemindcare) is a certified life coach, acne survivor, and self-love advocate. She helps adult women struggling with acne break free from isolation, overcome depression, and build lasting self-confidence through mental health & life coaching strategies.
